Wedded Bliss

WhatÂ’s happening, everybody? HavenÂ’t heard from the Angry Black Man in a while – I been rockinÂ’ and rollinÂ’. I been busy. ItÂ’s springtime in the capital city, and thereÂ’s a lot of romance in the air, and it hasnÂ’t been touching me. I donÂ’t know if thatÂ’s good or bad, but it is what it is. 
Now, to my people out there who have found their significant others, Rose Ray and Greg: congratulations; Eddie and Fiana: much love; and to my new coworker couple and loved ones, Jen and Eugene: congratulations. Now that we have all the mushy stuff out the way, letÂ’s get down to how I feel about the whole meat of the scenario.Recently, The Washington Post had a story that black people were not getting married as much as white people, Latinos, and Asians. It is true. Out of my ten closest friends, three are married, and the rest of us have never thought of nor do we want to get married. Those of us that are not married, we do have in-house lovinÂ’, and trust me, it is just like cutting a cake.But I will say this: One day, we will all have to stroll down the aisle with our queen. But until then, the party donÂ’t stop. Why do I have to choose with so many beautiful choices? Little bitty, big, medium-sizedÂ…oohwee, itÂ’s all the same, baby.

I know you ladies kinda upset with me right now, reading this, but basically, you ladies dictate the relationship. Y’all hold all the cards. Somehow, y’all feel like y’all gotta give men the cards, ‘cause I’m talkin’ to the sistas. A man can’t get the cream without ya’. We can’t achieve without you, but somehow, someway, we always end up disrespecting you, leaving you, being despicable. But I will say this: I am trying hard to attain the utmost, highest respect for you ladies.

Marriages of old, like my grandmother and grandfather whoÂ’ve been married forever, they donÂ’t exist anymore with divorce rates skyrocketing nowadays in every group, whether itÂ’s white, black, Asian, or Latino. Yeah, I know, I said Latino and Asian. I know it looks like they never divorce, but in Japan, the divorce and marriage rate is ridiculous.

So from this point on, I will be doing a chronic-le (cough, cough) – The Angry Black Man Does Dating: Step-by-Step on What’s Really Going On in the Dating Scene in Baton Rouge. Trust me, I’ve already been out on one date, and I can’t wait to tell you guys how buck wild it was. And no, I didn’t get the booty on the first date. OK, I did get the booty on the first date – I just rubbed it.

Until next month, love, peace, and soul.

Jeramaine Jingles is an angry black man – a VERY angry black man. If you want a piece of this, holla to angry@redshtickmagazine.com.