Redneck New YearÂ’s

Folks, New Years’ Eve has got to be our favorite holiday besides Thanksgivin’. “Yes, Thanksgivin’, dude – high five on that one.” While some folks choose to party in the clubs and bars, we like to keep it ‘neck. We head out to the camp with a ton of friends for one hell of a night of rowdiness. If some of you folks out there have never thrown down in the woods, you need to – it’s pretty damn fun. We decided to tell y’all what we like to do, so maybe next year, y’all could check it out for ya’ self.The first thing you do is get a head count of everybody that’s coming. Make sure you have enough room for everybody to sleep. If other folks show up, the girls get to sleep inside; guys, tough sh–t – sleep out in the truck.Next, you wanna get food for everybody. Me and ol’ D. Ray usually handle this part. We either buy stuff to cook or cook stuff that we’ve caught or put some lead in. “If you do buy groceries, make sure everybody paids ya’, or their ass ain’t eatin’.” Folks can get their own drinks. Next order of business is the purchase of fireworks. “Yes, sir, the bigger the better.” We like to get the outlaw stuff, like the 16,000-roll of Black Cat firecrackers, some bottle rockets, some roman candles, some artillery shells, and some aerials like “the Big Ripper.”

Once you get to the camp, go ahead and build a bonfire to sit around that night. Folks can either sit in the chairs they bring or sit on the tailgates. Start cookinÂ’ as soon as yaÂ’ done with that, so you can get that over with and hang out with yaÂ’ friends.

When everybody has shown up, lite the fire, crank up the music in one of the trucks, and let the party begin. Take yaÂ’ clothes off if you want to, drink from the bottle, mug down with your better half at midnight. When midnight comes, start the fireworks show, and try not to burn yourself up or the camp down. D.R. and I like to keep our friends on their toes. We like to throw fireworks into the fire when no one is looking and watch everybody run. This keeps the party going.

If you wake up with a helluva hangover, then you know you did

it right.

Have a good one,

Justin & Donnie Ray

Justin & Donnie Ray are Zachary’s foulest – you’d best keep yore distance! Tap a message on out to ‘em using that hi-tech email at redneck@redshtickmagazine.com.