I Did It All for the Wookie

December, Le Decembre, Diciembre, Dezember, Juu-ni Getsu. Yes, yes, that magical month is upon us. In many parts of the Northern Hemisphere, it means snowball fights, snow angels, tobogganing, and school cancellations due to inclement weather. Here, it pretty much means the rain gets a little colder. But it is also that magical time of year when the boob tube bestows upon us the magic of the Christmas TV special. Don't it feel good to be an American?
I know what you're thinking: The networks always play the same ol', same ol' specials…Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer; Frosty the Snowman; A Charlie Brown Christmas. Well, you're right. That's why I want you to call your local stations now and petition to have the greatest Christmas special of all time re-aired – a program that introduced us to the most proficient bounty hunter in the known universe (no, I'm not talking about Dog); a Christmas special that was spoken almost entirely in Wookiee for the first 15 minutes. This program is the work of perhaps the best (perhaps 13th best) mind working in the film industry. Yes. Yes! YES! We need The Star Wars Holiday Specialback on the airwaves!
If you're scratching your head, wondering what the hell I'm talking about this time, you're not alone. But everyone should see this as much as It's a Wonderful Life. So what if it has been nearly 30 years since it aired? How can you deny the quality and cultural impact of a work that gave us Boba Fett?! It was George Lucas' genius that had Han Solo and Luke Skywalker trying to rescue Chewbacca's family in time for Life Day. Well, who cares about the plot? It's also got Art Carney and Harvey Korman! (Hedley Lamarr himself!) Check it out!
Quick message to Britney Spears:  Stop it, honey.  Just stop it.
Well, Louisiana movies have been chugging right along. Aside from having to share filming locales for Bolden! (thank you, North Carolina), the Pelican State has been a veritable hotbed of activity. Check out the Louisiana Film Commission at LAFilm.org for the full details, but here are a few tasty tidbits I've been able to pick up from around the tables of some major movers and shakers.
The film about Kathleen Babineaux Blanco, Queenfish, that was set to be released last fall, has been scratched. In its place, Brown Pelican Films will be backing a biopic about our new favorite son, Mr. Bobby Jindal. Details are scarce now, but I hear that the opening scene involves anÂ…umÂ…interesting Hindu ceremony going on while little Bobby is being conceived. Kama Sutra, anyone?
Would you like to see a live-action version of Cajun Night Before Christmas? Probably, right? Second question: Would you pay to see a two-hour interpretation of said poem in a theater? Well, some people are banking on it. I haven't heard who's going to play St. Nick, but I'd put my money on John Goodman. Or maybe Paul Prudhomme. By the way, did you know his last name means "the prudish man"? I think.
Also, don't forget to be on the lookout for big Kwanzaa celebrations this year.  They should be so big that they'll make the powers that be rename Quantum Physics to Kwanzaa Physics.
Well, that's gonna be it for me. I'm going to go hang my stocking by the chimney with care. Maybe St. Nick will drop Alyssa Milano or Megan Fox into it this Christmas. Beats the Sugarplum Fairy. Have you seen her lately? Hefty. Merry Christmas, y'all.