Float, Float On

Remember; remember the month of November, the turkey and the dressing.  I know it's perky if the turkey receives the Thanksgiving blessing.  I'm getting hungry right now.  I need to go slather myself in gravy andÂ…wait a minute; this is not an internet chat room.  My peculiar proclivities will have to wait until another time, a time when I can get my hands on some cranberry sauce.
So, we've got a big ol' Turkey Day coming up, which also means big parades.  If Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade is not synonymous with the fourth Thursday in November, I don't know what is.  More people watch this cavalcade of fantastic, historical, and corporate celebration than do the World Cup in America.  The only thing that you could compare it to is the Spanish Town Parade in our sweet metropolis.  This year, icons in entertainment will be celebrated, as we'll see balloons fashioned after characters from some of the biggest franchises in the industry.
After the video game Halo 3 earned over $170 million in its first day of release, the governing board of the parade took note.  The board (which, unbelievably enough, is made up of the chairman of Macy's, along with William H. Macy, Macy Gray, and Miguel Ferrer [who played Dr. Garret Macy on Crossing Jordan]) decided to honor the game with its most iconic character and his mode of transportation, a jeep-like vehicle nicknamed a warthog.  Unfortunately, some signals got crossed, and the balloon makers actually made a real warthog instead of the eponymous jeep.  So, there'll be a nice big balloon of a warrior in futuristic armor riding a giant pig.

Celebrating movies, we'll see Ratatouille taking the fore.  But since this happens in New York, they won't need balloons; we'll just see lots of rats.  In books, there was nothing bigger than Harry Potter, but since most of the characters have been celebrated to death, there'll be a balloon for one of the animal characters, Hedwig the owl.  That particular balloon is expected to pop and deflate about three blocks into the day's event, though. (You'll appreciate that if you've read book 7.)

And since The Sopranos finally ended its big run on HBO, there was a float contracted to commemorate the final moments of the final episode of the final season.  This deal was made before the episode actually aired.  The board saw the episode and decided to keep to the agreement, arranging for a ten-second gap in the parade procession instead of a float that anyone had to put any effort into creating.

With Bobby Jindal's semi-meteoric rise to significance in the Bayou State, it looks like the gates have opened for the movie industry in Louisiana to let in the crown jewel of world cinema.  That's right, we are going to be seeing a marked increase in imports from the subcontinent, the Hindu hideout, the one and only India.  Bollywood makes more movies over there in a day than Tinseltown makes in three weeks and two days.

And who needs Michael Jackson when you can have the Indian version of Thriller?  Yeah, so the guy doesn't exactly have the exact same zing to his moves as Jacko, and the zombies in the video look more like they're just some strung-out addicts who've been rummaging around at the Goodwill, but at least you know your kids are safe on set.  Probably.

And don't worry about the action genre.  We've got Jai Bindi, the Indian answer to James Bond.  If you want movies where two-dimensional helicopters come whizzing by to drop plastic-looking bombs that explode with obvious fakeness, then this is the way to go.  And lastly, but doubtlessly the most entertaining, are the break-dancing Indian kids that bust out of sweatshops so they can smoke cigarettes.

By the way, the news is out and so is Dumbledore.  The greatest wizard in the world, at least as far as the Harry Potteruniverse is concerned, is a wee bit fruit and snappy.  That's right, a little light in the loafers.  What does this mean to the world at large? Not much to us Muggles, but you better watch out if you're a cute wizard.

Alright, back to the celebration.  Alyssa, where did you put the cranberry sauce?