The Evening Grind

Hi there, boys and girls! Today, I’d like to talk about a little thing called manners, particularly regarding one’s behavior in public places. I’d like to know when it became acceptable for a young man to come up behind a young lady (a complete stranger, mind you) and proceed to grind his crotch upon her buttock while dancing in a nightclub.I’m not talking about when a guy and a girl are eyeing each other all night suggestively, and the guy takes a chance by casually making his way across the room and gliding up behind her in time to the music. No, I’m talking about the kind of covert ops where a guy spies any rump-a-shakin’ and proceeds to dive-bomb her from behind, hoping she’s a big enough ho that she won’t remove one of his testicles for being so presumptuous.
Perhaps I’m not up to speed on my nightclub procedures. Perhaps now, you don’t go to a nightclub to dance anymore unless you want your buttock to be engaged in an unholy union with some strange man’s nether regions. Maybe I’m just going to the wrong clubs. But you know what? I say B.S. to that!

I defy someone to tell me that a woman has to go to a gay club to dance, lest she expect to have several young men thrusting their wangs about like so many baited hooks. If that’s the case, ladies, we might as well just get on our knees in the middle of the dance floor and open up to swallow (the metaphorical bait, that is).

I had encountered this phenomenon several years ago when such an instance occurred to me. That’s when I figured out why they never stop the ear-pounding music. It’s so you can’t hear the stream of profanities coming from the mouths of the women with enough self-respect to not put up with that kind of crap.

Then again, when I was discussing this topic with another woman and I mentioned the fact that these people are complete strangers to the women they’re violating, she remarked: “Well, they won’t be strangers for long.” Perhaps, but with me, that’s all they’ll ever be, ‘cause they just ruined any shot they ever had.

Call me a prude, call me a stick in the mud, but people my age (25) wonder why they don’t get any respect from older adults. Let me clue you in. Guys, it’s because you wander around nightclubs, using your genitals as a divining rod, searching for the nearest wet hole. And girls, you’re allowing yourselves to be the holes.

I’ll stick to the gay bars, thanks.