DaddyÂ’s Little Brick House

I am planning a wedding. For those of you who haven’t yet had the joy of preparing for nuptial bliss, let me tell you now that the American invasion of Normandy on D-Day probably took less preparation and planning.The things that people told me would be difficult were surprisingly a piece of cake for me. I picked out the dress. I picked out bridesmaids’ dresses that my bridesmaids not only like but also can wear again. I found the place and booked it. I haven’t picked out the florist yet, but my wedding isn’t until October, so I have plenty of time. Most of my wedding is falling into place. In fact, I am only stumped by one thing: what song to play during the father-daughter dance. Being a music critic, and a lover of songs both old and new, I thought that picking a song to dance to with my father would be easy. WRONG!!!! If you don’t want to dance to something cheesy like “Daddy’s Little Girl” or “Butterfly Kisses,” both of which make me throw up a little in my mouth every time that I hear them, you’re pretty much screwed. I tried convincing my father that we should be unconventional and just get down to “Brick House” by the Commodores, my personal favorite party/wedding song, but he declined. Nor, I might add, did he have any other options to offer after shooting down my suggestion.

So, I went into research mode, figuring it would take me no time to find an appropriate song. It’s now been three months that I have been looking and I have yet to find anything. Four straight hours spent with five laptops being manned by five family members, and none of us could find a song, although I did find one very amusing song from the Broadway show I Do! I Do! called “Father of the Bride,” which contains verses like “Marriage is a sacrament, which is just a way to say that a very private thing is done in a very public way. You stand among your neighbors like a lamb before the slaughter and watch some village idiot take away your daughter.” Unfortunately, it’s funny but not danceable and could potentially cause a family rift, so that song was shelved.

I was still looking for a song and starting to get desperate until I remembered – I have access to you people. So I am asking you, the readers of this magazine, to send me your best picks for songs to play during the father-daughter dance. Here are the criteria the song must meet:

1)    The song must be danceable.

2)    The song should be sung in English.

3)    The song should not be so sweet that listening to it will give my wedding party or me a toothache.

4)    The song can be country, but since my father hates country, this would only be used as a last resort, so try to stay away from country.

5)    The song should not contain any references to growing up with Daddy. (This type of song usually falls under the “too sweet” category, anyway.)

Okay, thatÂ’s it, people. YouÂ’re my last hope. Impress me.

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