Curious George Becomes President

George was curious. "Could he be President of the United States?"So he asked the man with the yellow hat if he could be president. But the man with the yellow hat said, “George, you’re just a silly little monkey! You’re not qualified to be president! You could never get enough people to vote for you to be elected!”But George was curious, so he went to the Supreme Court and asked the learned and wise Republican judges if he could be president.“OK, George,” said the judges. “You can be president. But don’t get into any trouble!”So George became President. And his approval ratings were very high, because George was a lovable little monkey.But George’s Vice President, an ill-tempered dwarf named Grumpy, was not so lovable. Grumpy was always walking around with a big scowl on his face, except, of course, when he was in a really good mood – then his scowl would turn into an evil smirk.

Grumpy had risen to fame in the business world as the CEO of the original Seven Dwarfs Mining Company, which, under Grumpy’s leadership, changed its name to the Screw You Mining Company and became a huge coal-mining conglomerate that specialized in mining only in places that environmental studies conclusively proved were the most remote, pristine, and fragile wilderness areas possible. After swindling the other six dwarfs out of their stock and selling them into a lifetime of indentured servitude, working in the coal mines with Snow White (who soon became known as Coal Black), Grumpy decided to run for public office and devote the rest of his life to serving his fellow wealthy Americans.

George left most of the thinking and decision making to Grumpy and spent most of his time playing in the White House. Like all little monkeys, George was great at hide and seek. It was fun to watch the Secret Service men frantically searching for him when he crawled up and hid in the top of a closet. “NO MORE HIDE AND SEEK!” they yelled when George finally came out.

It was a fun place to play, but after a while, George became bored. One day, when he was playing in the Oval Office with his globe, spinning it around and around, he became curious.

What would it be like to occupy a country?

So he closed his eyes, spun his globe around really fast, and then touched the globe with his finger. When the globe stopped spinning, George opened his eyes. His finger was pointing to the country of Outawaq.

“Excellent choice, Mr. President,” said Vice President Grumpy to George. “Based on our most sophisticated rumor intelligence, we have reason to believe that Outawaq has weapons of mass construction, plus…uh, hmm,” and then Grumpy began to whisper, “lots and lots of oil.”

“Oh boy!” thought George, “weapons of mass construction! Bulldozers, concrete trucks, cranes, pile drivers! Now I’m really going to start having some fun!” So George, who was now known as President George, ordered his armed forces to invade Outawaq.

“Find those weapons of mass construction, and when you do, bring them back here for me to play with,” he told his generals.

So his army invaded Outawaq and they searched and they searched, but no matter how hard they tried, his generals couldn’t find any weapons of mass construction, not even a tractor! Several years and 600 billion dollars later, his generals brought back two hammers and a rake (that needed a new handle) and presented them to President George.

Now lots of people were getting really mad at George! 600 billion dollars could have bought a dump truck for every monkey in the whole world! And all George had to show for it was two hammers and a beat-up old rake! Vice President Grumpy urged George to “stay the course,” but George knew he was in trouble! He got so scared he decided to run away!

As soon as no one was looking, George bolted out the Oval Office window and ran out onto the White House lawn.

A bunch of Secret Service men ran after him. “Somebody catch that monkey! He’s the President of the United States!”

George ran around the lawn, then up the columns of the White House to the roof. When the Secret Service men chased after him, George quickly climbed up to the top of the flagpole.

“Come down from that flagpole, Mr. President, or we’re coming up after you!”

The Secret Service men all started climbing up the pole after George. As they got closer to the top, the pole started bending, until the top of the pole was almost touching the roof. Then George jumped off the pole, and one of the men jumped off after him.

“Gotcha!”

With the weight of both George and the man suddenly lifted from the flagpole, it whipped upwards and catapulted the rest of the Secret Service men high in the air over the White House lawn and then SPLASH into the White House fountain! Now the Secret Service men were wet and really angry!

George was scared. What would he do now?

“Hah, Hah, Hah!”

Who was that? That voice sounded familiar!

“Hah, Hah, Hah!”

It was Vice President Grumpy! And he was laughing! No one had ever heard him laugh before!

Vice President Grumpy was doubled over in laughter. “That’s the funniest thing I ever saw! Hah, Hah, Hah!”

The Secret Service man on the roof released his grip on George. “Well, George, you made a terrible mess of things, but if you can make Vice President Grumpy laugh like that, then you’re OK! Let’s shake hands!”

When George got back down off the roof, the rest of the wet Secret Service men lifted George up. “Hooray for George!” they all shouted.

Just then, the man with the yellow hat drove up in his blue car.

“Well, George, it looks like you’re the hero of the day!” The man with the yellow hat then bent down to whisper to George. “I know that you have two more years left on your term, George, but I think I’m going to take you home right now, before you get into any more trouble.”

So George and the man in the yellow hat got into the car and drove away.