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Moonbeam Capital Investments Seeks Refund on Purchase of Cortana “Shithole”


The Las Vegas real estate company that bought Cortana Mall for $6 million earlier this year is now suffering from a case of buyer’s remorse and wants to annul the purchase.

Moonbeam Capital Investments added Cortana to its national portfolio of overlooked and underutilized retail centers in March with plans to lease the copious available space to retail, restaurant, and office users. After only six months of owning and operating the mall, however, those aspirations have been supplanted by regret and second-guessing.

The Red Shtick Podcast, Episode 54: “I Need a Co-sign for a 1969 Buick Riviera.”


Publisher Jeremy White welcomes Knick Moore and comedian Howard Hall Jr. to this week’s show, which right off the bat devolves into a discussion about midget dicks and running train.

Knick and Howard reminisce about the time they starred in a rather unique ad campaign for a Baton Rouge copier company. They also debate if Howard’s “made it” yet since whoever achieves that status first has to buy the other a vintage car.

LSU Student: “I Bought These Faggy Glasses so I Could Start Blogging”


A sophomore at LSU with perfect vision said he bought a pair of obnoxious, horned-rim glasses strictly so he could appear to be a bona fide blogger.

hipsterglassesJames Bollard said he bought the glasses last month after finally deciding to start a blog.

“All my friends have blogs and I didn’t,” Bollard said. “We’d get together at Highland Coffees, and they’d spend the whole time on their Macbooks, posting entries while I sat there like an idiot just wanting to talk. I know; I’m such a weirdo.”

Pacific Rim’s Job


Real conversation between me and my significant other:

PacificRim-DancingBearMe: I’m going to see Pacific Rim.

Her: What’s that one about?

Me: It’s a movie about giant robots and giant monsters.

Her: And …? (raised eyebrow look, asking for more information)

Me: I don’t know what else to tell you. If you’re not sold by now, … there’s nothing more I can say.

I like dancing bears. I don’t need dancing bears, but I like them. They’re entertaining. They do things that people do, but they’re bears! It’s insane. And senseless.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What Should Be the Title of the Next SyFy Original Movie?


Late last week, social media fell in love with the latest original movie from the SyFy Channel: Sharknado, a classic in which “super tornadoes suck sharks up from the ocean, hurling them at L.A.” It even starred America’s sweetheart Tara Reid!

The Bicoastal Hootenanny 0023: “James ‘The Godfather of Drôle’ Brown”


Nate has a dilemma. He asks for Adam’s help. But seeing as how Nate’s dilemma involves his mom, Adam’s mind is…elsewhere, and thus he is of little help.

And thus begins episode 23 of The Bicoastal Hootenanny Starring Nate and Adam. This past week, Adam attended a free Leon Russell concert in Brooklyn and dazzles us with his experiences there- including a dead-on impersonation of the singer’s cover of “Georgia on My Mind.”

The Godfather of Drôle
The Godfather of Drôle

Tootnanny Tuesday 001: “Chris Trew”


The Bicoastal Hootenanny is proud to present its first installment of Tootnanny Tuesdays, helmed by our very own Adam “Tootnanny” Wilson.

After a few minutes of some very insightful discussion about the lyrical habits of some southern musicians, Adam introduces his guest for Episode Une- Air Sex World Championships commissioner, former New Orleans Hornets/Pelicans almost-owner, and comedic genius, Louisiana’s own Chris Trew.

LSU Football Fans Spend Summer Preparing for Saban Mindfuck


Instead of kicking back and relaxing on vacation, many Tiger football fans are passing the dog days of summer mentally preparing to ward off being brain-raped by Alabama head coach Nick Saban.

Saban_WinkCountless LSU fans are practicing yoga, tai chi, and transcendental meditation to protect themselves from Saban’s emotional sodomy.

Several Purple and Gold devotees say they’re engaging in such traditionally Eastern spiritual practices out of desperation to gird themselves against falling victim once again to another cranial screw job by the former LSU head coach.

Injury Attorney Declares Half-Acre Sovereign Territory


The law firm Spencer Calahan Injury Lawyers announced it has seceded from the United States, declaring the modest parcel it occupies in Beauregard Town as the independent nation of Calahanistan.
The firm declared its national independence via a press release printed on a parchment scroll.
According to the release, Calahanistan will seek international recognition as well as a seat at the United Nations.
Calahanistan will seek international recognition as well as a seat at the United Nations.

The Red Shtick Podcast, Episode 44: “Adam Wilson and Josh Pinkston Take A Mulligan”


Publisher Jeremy White manages to finally get friend of the show Joshua Pinkston and “Bicoastal Hootenanny” costar Adam Wilson back together on the podcast after technical issues thwarted an attempt to record an episode at Josh’s tailgate in November.

Jeremy stumbles out the gate by completely missing an obvious current events metaphor from Joshua before the guys touch on the aftermath of the George Zimmerman verdict. They then dabble in a philosophical discussion about black-on-black violence.


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