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A Few “Bones” to Pick

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I was very excited to vote last month.  FINALLY!  They had left it up to the people of East Baton Rouge Parish as to whether we should be able to buy alcohol on Sundays.  It won by a landslide.  I was insanely happy…but it was all for naught.

 

The Digital Crackhead: November Releases Reviewed

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·        Resident Evil®: The Umbrella Chronicles  (WII) – That umbrella ought to come in handy since itÂ’s raining sh–tty video games.·        Painkiller: Overdose  (PC) – Boredom: Overdose.
·        WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2008  (X360, PS2, PS3, WII, PSP, DS) – Rednecks and mildly retarded people are already camping out for this gameÂ’s midnight release.·        Bee Movie™ Game (X360, WII, PC, PS2) – “As fun as getting attacked by killer bees!”

The Strange Case of Nurse J. and Mistress K.

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Listen ye adults to what I say,‘Bout the double life lady they dubbed Mistress K.By day, a sweet nurse at the Bedlam ward,At night, playing hell with the English Lord.Three shots of Drambuie would bring on the change,To a lady whose pleasure would come giving pain.And her reputation of breaking a man,While still giving pleasure, was known through the land.Midway through her session, the signal would be,One breast if by hand, and two if by knee.And there in the lamp light, where shadows did hide,The leather clad lady would saddle and ride.The schizoid young woman and madam of fear,Had a cat-

Float, Float On

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Remember; remember the month of November, the turkey and the dressing.  I know it's perky if the turkey receives the Thanksgiving blessing.  I'm getting hungry right now.  I need to go slather myself in gravy andÂ…wait a minute; this is not an internet chat room.  My peculiar proclivities will have to wait until another time, a time when I can get my hands on some cranberry sauce.

September 2007 BACS

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Ladies, if leaving the toilet seat up is the worst thing that your man does, count your lucky stars, because there are more annoying things he could do. If you donÂ’t believe us, just ask Charlotte Moore of Spring Creek, Nevada.
The 36-year-old Moore was arrested on August 11 on a charge of driving under the influence of alcohol in ElkoCounty. Incidentally, Moore is an Elko County SheriffÂ’s Deputy. After her release from jail, the 11-year veteran was placed on administrative leave from her position as a jail deputy.

The Wanderful World of Science

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Science solves problems and gives us the answers to questions. We ask questions when we want answers. When nobody asks a question or has a problem, science should keep its pi hole shut.
Science has lots of legitimate work to do. AIDS and cancer need cures. We need renewable energy sources, such as more coal and oil. Science still has to figure out if the chicken came before the egg and why the hell that bird is still jaywalking for laughs. By all rights, science should have provided us a teleporter by now, and probably a holodeck, or at least that brain plug from The Matrix.

311: A Pot-Smoker Convention?

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The doors to the 311/Matisyahu concert didn’t open until six, but that wasn’t soon enough for some fanatics who had been drinking and drugging in the parking garages since probably around…3:11. Everyone was crowding and pushing, trying to get to the front of the line, chanting, “Three-eleven, three-eleven.”

Marriage X-piration

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Marriage expiration should be seriously considered for several reasons: Britney and K. Fed, Whitney and Bobby, Ike and TinaÂ…the list goes on. If marriage licenses could be set to expire every two to four years, perhaps people would be less reluctant to get married and less afraid to separate.
Marriage expiration is certainly more appealing than divorce, because you leave with what you came with and there are no court costs. Of course, expiration should be contingent upon reasonable parameters, such as a “no children clause,” among other things.

Mortal Values

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As we go about our daily lives, we are given to forget the things that make our daily lives possible. Part of the reason that we live in peace and comfort is the fact that billions before us died, so they take up less space and generally cause less trouble. Many of them died from natural causes, but others died from supernatural causes, like being killed by some a–hole.

UFC Me in the Parking Lot

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To me, and apparently, many others, there is nothing better than to watch two guys beat each other senseless with flurries of elbows, flying knees, chokes, and arm bars inside of a steel cage. That kind of fighting is much more entertaining than watching boring old boxing, where two guys circle each other, trade very few punches, and usually rely on a decision to determine the winner of the bout.

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