Addicted to Love

I would like to take a moment to step on my soapboxÂ… LetÂ’s talk about addiction. There are lots of people that talk about addiction being a disease. I donÂ’t want to mention any names, because that might get lawyers involved.
Let me just state for the record that I have lots of experience with addiction. I am a covering alcoholic. (I can’t seem to get that “re-” part working.) I don’t go to the casino, because I can’t afford to gamble like I want to. I also smoked like a ‘74 Buick for the last 15 years, and I did a few other things I can’t mention, because the statute of limitations isn’t up yet.
When I chose to stop doing those things, I stopped. It wasnÂ’t easy, but I stopped. No pills, no programs, just done. So maybe a few people got slapped around in the process; they probably deserved it anyway.
That being said: Addiction IS NOT a disease. A disease can’t be cured by saying: “I am not doing that anymore.” You can’t just stand up and yell, “I don’t have sickle cell anemia anymore!!!!”
Addiction is a personal choice. It is something you chose to do. There are some diseases you can get by personal choice…and if you believe the person when he says, “It’s just a cold sore,” maybe you deserve it. You cannot avoid cancer by not talking to people with cancer; however, you can avoid drug addiction by not hanging out with Lindsey Lohan or the guy at the bar who’s 20 years older than everybody else.
I watch the show Intervention on A&E. They have interventions and try to save people with addictions. Never once have I seen a person on the show confronted by a group of friends and loved ones who were shouting, “Dammit Tom! You have to stop having multiple sclerosis!”
It is a disservice to people suffering from a real disease to say you have one because you canÂ’t stop shooting up. OK, I will step down and put the soapbox back under the bed.
Let’s move on to something less controversial: the Michael Vick story – more specifically, the media coverage of it. How come, when they talk about the judge in the M. Vick case, they always say: “Judge Henry E. Hudson, a dog owner…”? Is that really going to influence it? If it was an incest case, would they say: “Judge Henry E. Hudson, who has an attractive sister…”?
As for Vick himself, I hear he is looking into cockfighting now… Oh, wait – he is going to prison…well, technically… I guess he should just be happy that the Atlanta Falcons don’t have the same punishments for crappy performance that Bad Newz Kennels had.
Speaking of football: It is my favorite time of yearÂ…football season. There is only one problem: It is my anniversary with my girlfriend this month.
This year, I planned on breaking up with her in June. Not for good; just for about 10 minutes…just so I could get a new anniversary that wasn't during football season, but there was a tragic flaw in my plan. It meant I needed to think about my anniversary almost two full months before it happened, and as every man knows, it is genetically impossible for us to remember our anniversary that far out. Hell, the only reason I know it's the 17th now is because she has a countdown on her MySpace® page.
I still don't understand why an anniversary on a Monday has to ruin a football weekend. Especially when it's not even a big one – everybody knows the good anniversaries are divisible by five.
OK, everybody else turn the page; there is nothing else to see here.
P.S.: I was only joking! I love you! Happy Anniversary! LOBSTERS!
This article was originally posted on September 07, 2007