The Sweeter the Juice

This is a sad time for sports and for America. Barry Bonds is out at least half the season, and all because of our racism. ItÂ’s gone too far. It needs to stop.It was one thing for the Dred Scott case to go the way it did, for the Supreme Court to rule in favor of a Southern slave-owner.It was one thing for blacks to count only 3/5 in the voting process.It was one thing for each of the first three Rocky movies to feature the lead character, who was white, finish the movie by beating the hell out of a black man.But asking a 300-lb black man who has 2% body fat if he ever used steroids? And I thought the 13th Amendment meant something.Suffice it to say that this white sportswriter considers Rosa Parks a lucky woman, out of reach of the shadow of racial injustice that has injured both BarryÂ’s knees. Barry BondsÂ’ suffering is analogous to some of the worst demonstrations of racial injustice in AmericaÂ’s history.So where do we go from here, America? Random drug testing has been suggested, but if more than 1% of those tested are black, BarryÂ’s kids will cry again. Really, the only thing that will solve this problem is to ban white sportswriters.

I would then like to inform our readers that I wear a turban for religious purposes, IÂ’m good at swimming across rivers, and I pronounce my LÂ’s as RÂ’s.

Adam Wilson, a West Monroe native, is a regular on the Baton Rouge comedy scene, performing standup with Red Stick Comedy and improvisation and sketch with The Family Dinner. He can be contacted at adam@redshtickmagazine.com.