Hugo Chavez

The word “devil” is often thrown around in everyday language. Sometimes it’s used in a benign way, like, “He’s such a little devil,” or, “ The devil’s in the details.” However, it can also be used to equate someone to the very father of all things evil. This is exactly what Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez did last month at the United Nations.While addressing the General Assembly on September 20, Chavez called President George W. Bush “the devil himself.” In fact, he referred to him as “el Diablo” six times, just in case some thought their interpreters had been smoking something.The day after Bush spoke at the U.N., Chavez told the delegates gathered in New York, “The devil came here yesterday.” Just in case they weren’t sure whom he was talking about, Chavez clarified himself by saying, “Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the President of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world.”Chavez also made the sign of the cross as he said, “It still smells like sulfur.” Look, just because you smell sulfur, it doesn’t mean that Satan incarnate has been in the vicinity. It might just mean that somebody had a couple of chalupas for lunch. In fact, the odor might have been coming from Chavez. After all, if you smelt it, you dealt it.

Of all people, Chavez is one of the last guys that should accuse anyone of being Mephistopheles. This is the same guy whose BFF is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. (Man, our spell-check is getting a freaking workout, huh?) If any world leader might be mistaken as the prince of darkness, it’s Ahmadinejad.

We know that some folks might agree with Chavez that Bush is the devil, but let’s take an honest look at the two and compare.

Ahmadinejad said he wants to wipe the nation of Israel from the face of the earth. Bush, on the other hand, doesn’t want to destroy any nations. He only likes to invade them from time to time.

Also, Ahmadinejad said that the Nazi Holocaust never happened. He insists that the whole story about Hitler killing six million Jews is only a “myth.” Meanwhile, Bush only refuses to believe negative reports from his military leaders in Iraq.

Clearly, if either Ahmadinejad or Bush is the ruler of Hades, it’s Ahmadinejad. Furthermore, since one is known by the company that one keeps, Chavez must be one of his minions. And even if he’s not an underling of the devil, he’s at least probably let rip some hellacious farts after eating all that spicy Venezuelan food.