redshtickmagazineadmin's blog

Before I start my regular review, I would like to start with a complaint/rant.  What in hell is happening to heavy metal music?I went to a local bar last night to catch up with my favorite bartender and to get a couple drinks.  The bar has always had a fantastic music selection in its jukebox, but about a year ago, they got one of those machines that goes online and gives you thousands of selections from hundreds of artists, so you could easily spend an hour in front of the thing, trying to decide what you would like to listen to.

October is here!  Theoretically, this is my favorite month.  The air starts to get crisp, and you can layer clothing and wear sweaters.  Football season is in full swing.  If you live anywhere but here, the leaves start to change colors, and you get to start up the first fire in the fireplace for the year.  Hot apple cider is the beverage of choice, and Halloween comes at the end and seems to kick off the beginning of the holiday season.  I love it!Now, to make October even more special for me, I am getting married this month.

Folks, Big L here, a.k.a. “The Latin Heat” – yeah, what! – to tell you about one of the baddest brawls to happen this side of the river since that time I whipped that tire’s ass at the Zachary Sausage Festival. I’m talkin’ about the “Ditch Pigs” going up against them two tons of fun, “Chocolate Thunder and Miss Big Draws,” at the “Bear’s Den” bar and bait shop last Saturday nite.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, so we had a party at the double-wide. Not a creature was stirring, ‘cause we shot everything outside. I was drunk, Donnie Ray was lit, and everyone that didn’t pay for the keg beer gave us the slip. Donnie Ray passed out at the wrong end of his bed, while visions of pitcher beer, hot wings, and strippers danced in his head. I climbed into the lazy boy to take me a nap, too lazy to turn the lights off, so I pulled down my cap. Then, outside, I heard a loud clatter. I fell out the lazy boy to see what was the matter.

Folks, New Years’ Eve has got to be our favorite holiday besides Thanksgivin’. “Yes, Thanksgivin’, dude – high five on that one.” While some folks choose to party in the clubs and bars, we like to keep it ‘neck. We head out to the camp with a ton of friends for one hell of a night of rowdiness. If some of you folks out there have never thrown down in the woods, you need to – it’s pretty damn fun. We decided to tell y’all what we like to do, so maybe next year, y’all could check it out for ya’ self.The first thing you do is get a head count of everybody that’s coming.

It's about that time. For moviegoers (and I hope fans of Christmas forgive the comparison), it's the most wonderful time of the year. Memorial Day officially marks the beginning of the summer movie season, but arachnophobes and arachnophiles alike will notice that Spider-Man 3 is a few weeks ahead the game, hitting theatres on May 4.Okay, so the studio didn't heed my advice and make Spidey 3 a word-for-word remake of Amazing Spider-Man #256 and #257, where Spider-Man took on the erstwhile villain known as Puma! What? You never heard of him?

It's hot out there. Louisiana hot. It's hot enough to cook things in your shorts. Yes, crotch-pot cooking is the order of the day at this summery time in our Bayou State. And where better to escape the humidity that permeates the very groin of your being than in a nice, cool movie theater? WouldnÂ’t it be nice? Of course, I always have to get the nachos with the extra jalapenos, so my summertime persists long after the movie experience is over. It's called posterior sunburn. But I digressÂ… You should see a movie or two; keep the economy going. It's your duty as an American.

Okay, you love movies.  You've seen hundreds of them.  You've enjoyed at least a dozen.  So why remain a passive spectator?   Wouldn't you love to be behind the camera, deciding the look, tone, and direction of a movie?  Or pose nude in front of the camera?  Wait, I meant act. ACT in front of the camera.It's time to take charge, Louisiana.

Well, Tim Burton's epic stop-motion classic is back! The Nightmare Before Christmas is hitting theaters.  Again!  But this time it's in 3-D! Wait, it was in 3-D the last time it came to the movies, last year.  Okay, this time it's exactly the same as it was last year! How exciting!Seriously, along with movies like Silent Night, Deadly Night and Black Christmas, it looks like the Halloween spirit is really driving to take over the Big Day!  Not that it'll ever happen, but if it ever happens, I think I see the way it'll play out.

December, Le Decembre, Diciembre, Dezember, Juu-ni Getsu. Yes, yes, that magical month is upon us. In many parts of the Northern Hemisphere, it means snowball fights, snow angels, tobogganing, and school cancellations due to inclement weather. Here, it pretty much means the rain gets a little colder. But it is also that magical time of year when the boob tube bestows upon us the magic of the Christmas TV special. Don't it feel good to be an American?