Â‘Twas the night before Christmas, so we had a party at the double-wide. Not a creature was stirring, Â‘cause we shot everything outside. I was drunk, Donnie Ray was lit, and everyone that didnÂ’t pay for the keg beer gave us the slip. Donnie Ray passed out at the wrong end of his bed, while visions of pitcher beer, hot wings, and strippers danced in his head. I climbed into the lazy boy to take me a nap, too lazy to turn the lights off, so I pulled down my cap. Then, outside, I heard a loud clatter. I fell out the lazy boy to see what was the matter.