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Tom Cruise

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According to New York Daily News, actress and newly converted Scientologist Katie Holmes will give birth sans drugs and noise, or at least attempt to. Why would the first-time expectant mother even think of going through hours of labor in silence and without the aid of a good old-fashioned epidural?

Fred Phelps

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Like most members of the media (technically, we do count), we at Red Shtick Magazine hold the First Amendment in the highest regard since it protects free speech, including that which is considered offensive. Without it, we probably wouldnÂ’t have made it to our third issue. ThatÂ’s why it really pisses us off that state lawmakers all around the country are being forced to introduce and enact legislation that some may see as restricting free speech.In at least 13 states, including Louisiana, legislators have proposed laws that ban picketing and protests near funerals.

Hugo Chavez

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The word “devil” is often thrown around in everyday language. Sometimes it’s used in a benign way, like, “He’s such a little devil,” or, “ The devil’s in the details.” However, it can also be used to equate someone to the very father of all things evil. This is exactly what Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez did last month at the United Nations.While addressing the General Assembly on September 20, Chavez called President George W.

The Sweeter the Juice

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This is a sad time for sports and for America. Barry Bonds is out at least half the season, and all because of our racism. ItÂ’s gone too far. It needs to stop.It was one thing for the Dred Scott case to go the way it did, for the Supreme Court to rule in favor of a Southern slave-owner.It was one thing for blacks to count only 3/5 in the voting process.It was one thing for each of the first three Rocky movies to feature the lead character, who was white, finish the movie by beating the hell out of a black man.But asking a 300-lb black man who has 2% body fat if he ever used steroids?

When the Bases Are Loaded and You Are, TooÂ…

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LetÂ’s face it. YouÂ’re rich, and you need the financial planner who is right for you. You need a guy who can protect your retirement investments. You need a guy who will allow you to live a tax-efficient life. You need a guy who can make you able to see your kids through college.

Death Valley Feeling the Heat, Southern Breathes Sigh of Relief

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Sunday, August 20, 2006, is a day that could have lived in infamy but it didnÂ’t. On this oh-so-unfortunate, late summer evening, a small fire in a concession stand in the southwest corner of LSUÂ’s Tiger Stadium produced a large amount of smoke inside the holy sanctuary known as Death Valley. Now, albeit the fire was small and contained and put out very early, the fear of losing Death Valley consumed the minds of LSU students, season ticket holders, and coonasses of all kinds.

The LSU Sports Museum: Genuflection Preferred, but Not Required

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There is a time in everyoneÂ’s life when you get to live out the fantasies you have had since grade school. No, IÂ’m not talking about a day at the Neverland Valley Ranch; IÂ’m talking about the day I had frolicking in sports memorabilia from LSUÂ’s past at the Jack and Priscilla Andonie Museum.

Bowling for Dollars

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Yes, itÂ’s my favorite time of the year. No, not the holiday season, full of love and joy and relatives; IÂ’m talking about the college bowl season. With 33 bowl games now being played in Division I-A, some of the bowls are picking some interesting names for the games, and some even weirder corporate sponsorships. Here are just some of my favoritesÂSan Diego County Credit Union® Poinsettia Bowl – December 19, 2006, 7pm, San Diego, CAThis bowl game is the winner of the most ghetto name in bowls for 2006-2007.

Toasting Cornbread

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The beginning of 2007 offers us a look back at the past year in sports. 2006 gave us a lot of high drama and lots of low character. Look no further than the most recent NBA brawl at Madison Square Garden, involving 10 players from the Knicks and Nuggets. Now, if we can learn one thing from that fiasco. itÂ’s that even the tallest and most athletic of our kind can still be taken down by a simple pimp slap. Terrell Owens continued his three-ring circus production, only this time, the location was amongst the beautiful ranches of Dallas, Texas.

Sweat + Coeds = Sweaty Coeds

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Once again, here on the grandiose oaks of LSU, the squirrels have begun their annual mating dance. So once again, I run across campus avoiding the caterpillars that the satanic tree rats keep humming in my direction. Mind you, I like to watch them torment freshmen and those professors that don’t curve (you know, the ones that say that your grade is “the scalar quantity of your test and homework grades”). But more important than the barrage of caterpillars and demented squirrels, our two weeks of winter and spring are over and it is getting HOT!!!

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