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WhatÂ’s happening, everybody? HavenÂ’t heard from the Angry Black Man in a while – I been rockinÂ’ and rollinÂ’. I been busy. ItÂ’s springtime in the capital city, and thereÂ’s a lot of romance in the air, and it hasnÂ’t been touching me. I donÂ’t know if thatÂ’s good or bad, but it is what it is. 

This is the official hookup handbook from the Angry Black Man. Single people out there, I am fixing to present you with the book of game. To begin this highly in-depth series in Red Shtick Magazine, I bring to you proven – and I do mean proven in countless years of game – methods of hookin’ up in the capital city.First off, for the guys, there are four or five things that you really need:
1.Eye contact – trust me, it works.
2.First impression is always the best impression.
3.A good wingman.
4.Sweet talk – basically, being Southern and smooth.

Ladies and gentlemen, guys and gals, boys and girls, dudes and dudettes, gays and lesbians, mommaÂ’s daddies, babyÂ’s mommas, babyÂ’s daddyÂ’s cousins, and LilÂ’ Pete, I have come to realize that American advertisement companies have lost their damn mind.First of all, letÂ’s get to the local commercials: CelesteÂ’s soul food restaurant on Harry Drive. If you havenÂ’t been there, you oughta be ashamed of yourself.

This ain’t been the season to be jolly. OK, it has in some ways and hasn’t in othersLet’s go from the top – the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday was more like “run over your ass and push your ass down” Friday. Most white people think Black Friday is the day things get took. But it’s actually when everyone quite possibly purchases everything in that one day for the Christmas season.

Greetings and salutations. I know y’all been wondering where I been hiding. I been sick – not in the head, but actually sick.But before I continue, I want to thank the people at the Lady of the Lake hospital. Thank you for challenging my manhood, having a doctor stick his hand in my… Let’s just say, that’s messed up. While I was laying in my hospital bed, I got a lot of things done. I read countless Newsdays and US News & World Reports and Time Magazines. For some reason, the Catholic hospital newsstand don’t carry Black Tail.

Moonlight and Venus bright, And one mute cry for me. So let there be no moaning in the night, When blind eyes finally see. Daybreak, the crack of dawn. And after that we part. So let the gnash of teeth be gone, For one with half a heart. High noon and blazing sun, Life wilting in the heat. Then let there be no pissing when itÂ’s done,Nor crying in defeat. Beyond the place where bubbles burst, Where fate plays every card. I hope to quench my true loveÂ’s needy thirst, From she who left me hard. end Mr. E.

White cliffs to the left of them, Whirlpool to the right of them, Blown asunder. Into the mouth of hell swarmed the six million. Theirs was not to fathom why. Theirs was but to ride the tide.Half an inch, half an inch, half an inch onward, Burned up in an acid bath, Quagmired within bile and fat, Searching unanswered. Dying to make a mortal mortal match. Misspent outside the woman’s snatch. Nature’s blunder. Their valiant charge would have had a chance, If sent instead inside her pants. One must wonder. end Mr. E.

According to New York Daily News, actress and newly converted Scientologist Katie Holmes will give birth sans drugs and noise, or at least attempt to. Why would the first-time expectant mother even think of going through hours of labor in silence and without the aid of a good old-fashioned epidural?

Like most members of the media (technically, we do count), we at Red Shtick Magazine hold the First Amendment in the highest regard since it protects free speech, including that which is considered offensive. Without it, we probably wouldnÂ’t have made it to our third issue. ThatÂ’s why it really pisses us off that state lawmakers all around the country are being forced to introduce and enact legislation that some may see as restricting free speech.In at least 13 states, including Louisiana, legislators have proposed laws that ban picketing and protests near funerals.

The word “devil” is often thrown around in everyday language. Sometimes it’s used in a benign way, like, “He’s such a little devil,” or, “ The devil’s in the details.” However, it can also be used to equate someone to the very father of all things evil. This is exactly what Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez did last month at the United Nations.While addressing the General Assembly on September 20, Chavez called President George W.