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Relativity, Part 2: General

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Gravity strikes without warning. It is the silent killer, the thief, the undertaker. It can be completely unpredictable, despite the fact that it has been doing the exact same thing for around 14 billion years. The human race has lost countless lives to the merciless will of gravity, and even today, it looms as an ever-present threat to all things that are made of matter, which most things are.Human beings have feared gravity since the tragic realization that babies do not bounce.

Iberville Lands Major Hollywood Production

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The Great Big StoryYet another big Hollywood production is headed to Louisiana. Production is set to begin in Iberville Parish later this year on Anal Traffic XXXVI: Sphincters of Fire. A project of Los Angeles-based Wankerville Studios, the latest chapter in the award-winning saga stars Heady Lamar and Justin Thundercock, and features a cameo appearance by Driver the Wonder Mule. 

My Views

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Our United States Supreme Court is finally shining the light of Christian righteousness throughout this great country in the form of last monthÂ’s ruling that affirms a federal law banning partial-birth abortions. This light is, in fact, a train. ItÂ’s a great locomotive of justice rumbling through this great country that will not and cannot be stopped. 

Residents Say North B.R. Already Has Coke Plant

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The Great Big Story
Sampson Julius “Lil’ Bit” Beckett begs to differ with the corporate powers that be; there’s lots of coke on the north end of the city. “I ain’t trying to start no trouble, but they already got a lot of coke up there. They make it in a old rent house by the airport,” Beckett reported to friends in May.

Local CEO Abruptly Fired

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The Great Big StoryBATON ROUGE – In a shocking management shakeup, company founder Deonaedris Williams was abruptly ousted in June as chairman and chief executive of Dee’s Fix-it-Shop.“While Mr. Williams’ departure was unexpected by many of our shareholders and customers, we believe our decision is in the best interest of the company’s long-term strategic and financial goals,” the company’s board of directors said in a release. “We wish Mr.

LSU Hires Rancor as New System President

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The Great Big Story
BATON ROUGE – Calling it “quite simply a coup,” LSU Chancellor Sean O’Keefe announced last month the university ended its long-running search for a new system president by hiring the Rancor to succeed William Jenkins.
“While the university family was blessed to have President Jenkins, we’re overjoyed to replace him with someone of such impeccable character,” O’Keefe said. “LSU is truly destined to become one of the world’s greatest institutions of higher learning.”

God to LA Voters: “Quit Praying for Reform”

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The Great Big StoryHEAVEN – Telling Louisiana voters His answer “should be obvious by now,” God formally asked the state in September to quit praying for political reform.“If it hasn’t occurred to you yet, I Am a serious Omnipotent Being,” the Almighty said in a release.

LSU Coaching Drama, Chapter II: Miles’ Fate in B.R. Still Doubtful After Jim & Lu Corporate Jet is Spotted at Tuscaloosa Airport

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TUSCALOOSA, AL – Despite Les Miles’ comments to the contrary, LSU might still be courting Alabama’s Nick Saban for a return to Tiger football.Sources in Tuscaloosa, AL, said in early December that Olde English I, the Jim & Lu Grocery private Learjet, was spotted on the runway at Tuscaloosa Regional Airport.

McCollister Chosen to Succeed Billy Mays

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BATON ROUGE – Baton Rouge Business Report publisher Rolfe McCollister was named in December as the successor to TV gadget pitchman Billy Mays.Mays, who already has announced he will retire within the next five years, said McCollister was “the logical choice” as his replacement.

iPodulation

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What’s white, has a click wheel, and can hold every last Beatles song, video, and movie? You guessed it: the iPod. These portable mp3 players have become so widespread that it’s impossible to go anywhere without seeing those in-ear “Mug Me White” headphones. For those of you still lugging around those silly, disc-playing thingies, check out what you’re missing!Few people realize that iPods were originally conceived as mind-control devices. Apple CEO Steve Jobs felt parents were ready for a product that would provide them with complete control over what went into their children’s ears.

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