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Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Thanks to the peculiarities of the Catholic calendar, Mardi Gras is extraordinarily early this year. Fat Tuesday falls on February 5, which means that we don’t even get a full month of King Cake season. With so many diabetics in Louisiana, though, maybe that’s a good thing.It also means that the Spanish Town Parade, by far the largest one in Baton Rouge, falls on Saturday, February 2. Since...

Trekonomic Incentives

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

There was a commercial once where the guy who was captain of the space station on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine said, "I want my flying cars." He was talking about why we hadn't moved further technologically than we had at that time. He sounded serious, but it was because he was being paid to sell credit cards or insurance or something.I don't want credit cards, insurance, or flying cars. I'll...

War on Wires

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Wires suck. They tangle. People trip over them. Animals gnaw on them. Musicians lose them. Nerds collect them.We need wires to connect things that need to be connected. How do we connect things without wires? We also use wireless to connect things that need to be connected. We have two options when it comes to connectivity: wires and wireless. Seems like there should be a third option, but...

Cellulosic Ethanol: Tomorrow’s Fuel for Drinking and Driving

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Everybody loves alcohol. It has helped us start and win wars, it’s why we changed the constitution twice, and it just makes sense. It is the social lubricant that keeps the cynically self-righteous, moral fabric of our society from chafing against the swollen genitals of our collective guilt and denial. Alcohol is natural, legal, and moral, and you can drink it off of parts of sorority chicks...

E.T.: Illegal Alien

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:08

The current political debate over illegal immigration has little to do with science, or reason in general. However, when you think of immigrants as “aliens” and allude that this group may include extra-terrestrials, the debate begins to fall within the realm of pseudo-science and metaphysics, or something like that. That's good enough for me.Illegal aliens come in all shapes and sizes,...