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Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

It’s easy to say, “Oops! I did it again,” if you’re Britney Spears. Can you believe it? Britney Spears and her bullsh–t are still managing to damage the national image of the people of Louisiana.Thanks, bitch.Not only Britney is dropping turds on our image; now, her baby sister and her mom are, too. Jamie Lynn Spears is the 16-year-old sister of big Brit and star of Nickelodeon’s TV show Zoey...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Thanks to the peculiarities of the Catholic calendar, Mardi Gras is extraordinarily early this year. Fat Tuesday falls on February 5, which means that we don’t even get a full month of King Cake season. With so many diabetics in Louisiana, though, maybe that’s a good thing.It also means that the Spanish Town Parade, by far the largest one in Baton Rouge, falls on Saturday, February 2. Since...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

There was a commercial once where the guy who was captain of the space station on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine said, "I want my flying cars." He was talking about why we hadn't moved further technologically than we had at that time. He sounded serious, but it was because he was being paid to sell credit cards or insurance or something.I don't want credit cards, insurance, or flying cars. I'll...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Wires suck. They tangle. People trip over them. Animals gnaw on them. Musicians lose them. Nerds collect them.We need wires to connect things that need to be connected. How do we connect things without wires? We also use wireless to connect things that need to be connected. We have two options when it comes to connectivity: wires and wireless. Seems like there should be a third option, but...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Everybody loves alcohol. It has helped us start and win wars, it’s why we changed the constitution twice, and it just makes sense. It is the social lubricant that keeps the cynically self-righteous, moral fabric of our society from chafing against the swollen genitals of our collective guilt and denial. Alcohol is natural, legal, and moral, and you can drink it off of parts of sorority chicks...

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