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Updated date: Tuesday, March 4, 2014 - 12:56

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You're a Libra, arenÂ’t yaÂ’, darlin'? Well then, ACK LIKE ONE. Don't you know what Libras are famous for? Mind-blowing lap dances for tall men. So, go find yourself a tall man, and give him a lap dance.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Just because gay marriage has been banned doesn't mean you have to protest by wearing nothing but a tube sock and body paint....

Updated date: Tuesday, March 4, 2014 - 12:55

Grammar is very important.

I know there is probably some CEO of a major corporation who will read that statement and think, "Antonio, I donÂ’t remember a damn thing my 8th-grade English teacher tried to teach me about grammar, and my salary is 50 times larger than hers." I would imagine President Bush doesnÂ’t remember much about grammar either. It is rumored that George W. was AWOL...

Updated date: Monday, March 3, 2014 - 16:22

Folks, hunting season is upon us again. For all you hunters out there, we wish you good luck this year, and we would like to remind yÂ’all to be safe out there. Over the years, weÂ’ve had our own close calls hunting, so we decided to share some of our safety tips with yÂ’all.

•    Always wear your hunterÂ’s orange vest. Never take it off and place it on the deer you...

Updated date: Monday, March 3, 2014 - 16:22

You know them, you love them, and some people love them more, way more. Imagine following your favorite celebrities around all day. Around the clock. Even after they go to sleep. Sending them flowers, chocolates, and animal parts. You won’t have to imagine that much longer as Fox (isn’t it always Fox?) will be putting on “Walking in the Footsteps of the Famous.”

As of right now,...

Updated date: Monday, March 3, 2014 - 16:21

Recently, during one of his televised sermons, local televangelist Jimmy Swaggart made an eye-popping remark about gays fighting for the right of same-sex marriage. He said, “I’m trying to find the correct name for it…this utter, absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men…I’ve never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry.” We believe that if Swaggart wasn’t on TV, he...

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