Updated date: Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - 11:43

Pandora running in the night 
To find a secret place 
To hide the box no man can touch 
Or nuzzle with his face. 


Pandora crying in her bed, 
Her face awash in tears, 
Remembering the words they said 
And love lost through the years. 

Pandora sitting on the snow 
Upon a frozen...

Updated date: Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - 11:42

Dear Joann,

I figured, since youÂ’re a girl, you might be able to give me a pointer or two with my situation. ThereÂ’s this girl I like a lot, but I canÂ’t seem to talk to her. ItÂ’s not that IÂ’m shy; I just canÂ’t seem to get a word in when IÂ’m around her. She just talks too much!

I know it sounds contradictory to say I canÂ’t talk to a girl because she talks too much, but...

Updated date: Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - 11:41

ItÂ’s time to talk a little common sense.

Lately, there seems to be a problem with cars and trains. They are called vehicle/train accidents. These are not accidents. An accident is something that you do not intend to happen. Vehicle/train collisions are the result of sheer stupidity. This isnÂ’t the dawn of the railway. If you havenÂ’t mastered the art of driving without stopping on...

Updated date: Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - 11:41

Hey there, dudes and dudettes, major-league butt kicking is back in town! This time it is of the Irish variety. Faith and begorrah! This St. PattyÂ’s Day, green isnÂ’t the only color to be concerned about. On March 17th, the streets run red with riversÂ…of justice!! Matt Damon is: Patrick Saint. When you find the end of the rainbow, it wonÂ’t be that pot of gold youÂ’ve heard about. Patrick...

Updated date: Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - 11:40

Punxsutawney Bush saw his shadow, so it looks like four more years of war to be paid for by the American people. We believe this administration has a plan for determining who our next opponent will be. Apparently, he will put into a hat the names of all the countries that pose no actual threat to us and draw one out at random.

This is how he chose Iran as the next great enemy. Luckily...