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Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:06

2008!  Wow, whoÂ’da thunk it? I thought I'd be dead by now, like John Belushi or Chris Farley, but I guess I'm not famous enough.  Whatever shall I do with these extra 365 – wait! – 366 days that I've been granted by Fate, Destiny, and Providence?! After I take out the garbage.  And tear all of my hair out because Jessica Alba is freakin' pregnant!Speaking of pregnant, I just...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:06

This monthÂ’s hero is an unlikely one, to say the least. HeÂ’s David Pfahler, a 60-year-old attorney whoÂ’s suing an 8-year-old boy for injuries he sustained from a collision on a ski slope in Beaver Creek, Colorado.Like martyrs fighting for what they hold dear (in this case, a healthy settlement), Pfahler and his wife have been vilified by an internet lynch mob that has branded them as greedy...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:06

With yet another turn of the calendar, we usher in another new year. For me, that also means another impending birthday, since mine falls on the sixth day of the year. In the Roman Catholic Church, that day is known as the Epiphany, which seems befitting, since the last few times it’s rolled around, I’ve had an epiphany that I’m getting old.With this one, I turn 38, which means I’m only two...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Brad stared at the wall for a minute, contemplating suicide. As was usually the case, it sounded like more work than it was worth. He also had his doubts as to its implications: That whole meeting God thing left him with a sneaking suspicion about what would happen if he did take his own life. He'd be punished. In fact, he was more than slightly afraid that the punishment was already under way...

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

It’s easy to say, “Oops! I did it again,” if you’re Britney Spears. Can you believe it? Britney Spears and her bullsh–t are still managing to damage the national image of the people of Louisiana.Thanks, bitch.Not only Britney is dropping turds on our image; now, her baby sister and her mom are, too. Jamie Lynn Spears is the 16-year-old sister of big Brit and star of Nickelodeon’s TV show Zoey...

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