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Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:06

Have you taken a close look at the writing on the wall of your favorite watering hole lately? No, seriously, think about this for a second. YouÂ’re only in there for a few minutes, doing, you know, whatever it is you do in the bathroom at the bar (pee, blow, whatever), and all around you are some of the most ridiculous inscriptions you will ever encounter.I went back home to North Carolina...

Pregnancy, Profession, and Prognostication

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:06

2008! Wow, whoÂ’da thunk it? I thought I'd be dead by now, like John Belushi or Chris Farley, but I guess I'm not famous enough. Whatever shall I do with these extra 365 Â– wait! Â– 366 days that I've been granted by Fate, Destiny, and Providence?! After I take out the garbage. And tear all of my hair out because Jessica Alba is freakin' pregnant!Speaking of pregnant, I just...

David Pfahler

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:06

This monthÂ’s hero is an unlikely one, to say the least. HeÂ’s David Pfahler, a 60-year-old attorney whoÂ’s suing an 8-year-old boy for injuries he sustained from a collision on a ski slope in Beaver Creek, Colorado.Like martyrs fighting for what they hold dear (in this case, a healthy settlement), Pfahler and his wife have been vilified by an internet lynch mob that has branded them as greedy...

Father Time is One Mean Mother

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:06

With yet another turn of the calendar, we usher in another new year. For me, that also means another impending birthday, since mine falls on the sixth day of the year. In the Roman Catholic Church, that day is known as the Epiphany, which seems befitting, since the last few times it’s rolled around, I’ve had an epiphany that I’m getting old.With this one, I turn 38, which means I’m only two...

The Uncivil Servant: Part XII

Updated date: Tuesday, May 12, 2015 - 12:07

Brad stared at the wall for a minute, contemplating suicide. As was usually the case, it sounded like more work than it was worth. He also had his doubts as to its implications: That whole meeting God thing left him with a sneaking suspicion about what would happen if he did take his own life. He'd be punished. In fact, he was more than slightly afraid that the punishment was already under way...