What I Learned About Hockey in Hooters By Cara De Carlo
I learned
I’d work there if their TVs showed hockey games! (And also if I had giant
knockers.)
I grew up
in Pittsburgh, PA. This was during the “Lemieux Era,” when the Penguins had TWO
whole years to violate Lord Stanley’s Cup. My friends and I didn’t hang out at
the mall on weekends. Our skates were on the ice!
Flashback… Read More... |  |
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The Uncivil Servant Part XXIX By J.W. Kendall
Brad couldn’t even pay token
attention. He clearly needed an amphetamine infusion to give him that
narrow-field focus, but he hadn’t had a chance to run by the apartment and
restock on pharmaceuticals. His mind was adrift on an ADD inland sea.
Marion was now discussing how
difficult it would be for a hacker to gain illicit access to the phone system.
Brad found this puzzling, considering that there couldn’t be anything in the
world less interesting than the phone calls that went in and out of the office. Read More... |  |
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The Power of Suggestion By Jeremy White
Once again, I’m feeling
a bit generous this month. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything of monetary
value to offer in these tough economic times. For that, you’ll have to look to
the federal government. Lord knows our governor won’t give you sh–t. Read More... |  |
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James Kimondo By Editorial Staff
It’s been said that sex is a weapon.
For some, lack of sex could be torture. That’s why this month’s hero is suing a
group of women for his not having sex for a rock-solid week.
James Kimondo filed suit against the
leaders of the G10, a coalition of women’s groups that called for a seven-day
national booty boycott to persuade Kenya’s men to put an end to the political
divisions that threaten to destroy the Grand Coalition Government of President
Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister Ralia Odinga. In other words, they tried to get
a bunch of egocentric men to love one another by withholding love. Read More... |  |
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Summer of Prickly Heat Part I By Antonio Winnebago
Karen Robards is a
bestselling author of romance novels who’s written books with titles such
as Obsession, Scandalous, Forbidden Love, and Desire in
the Sun. Desire in the Sun is the
story of Lilah and Joss – two star-crossed lovers sometime in the 1800s who
struggle against the social mores of their time for the right to spend the rest
of their lives having torrid sex. This book was recommended to me by one of the
girls in my office, who told me she preferred Karen Robards’ books over other
romance authors’ because Karen Robards’ books had more “detail.”
Hmmm ... “detail” ...
“maybe it’s like a James Michener novel,” I thought. Read More... |  |
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Bill Would Mandate Hands-free Daiquiris By Tony Swartz
The
Great Big Story
Civil liberties advocates vowed to
vehemently oppose a bill filed in the Legislature that would mandate hands-free
daiquiris for Louisiana motorists.
“Nobody’s saying you can’t enjoy a
refreshing, ice-cold daiquiri,” Representative Austin Badon (D-New Orleans)
said while introducing House Bill 371. “All we’re asking is that if you’re on
the road, you keep both hands on the steering wheel.” Read More... |  |
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Alamosa Light Rail By Holden R. Wright
Thanks to LSU, Penske, and my old
roommate, we have moved from the 500,000-population Baton Rouge to join the
15,000 residents of Alamosa County, Colorado. And while you people fight and
jaw over a loop around Baton Rouge, I am living across from the light rail
system in town. No bus line, no Waffle House, no humidity, no interstate, and
only 12 traffic lights, but we have a train station with three different light
rail lines.
The San Luis Express leaves Alamosa
every morning to travel to the La Veta Pass with a stop in La Veta for
antiquing and lunch. If you want a trip across a beautiful mountain range in
order to visit the equivalent of downtown Denham Springs, come on over, because
I’m saving you a seat. And if you come on the weekend, you get the treat of a
steam engine. Read More... |  |
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Not-Too-Legit Flicks By Jimmy Faux
That's it. The summer
has peaked. Star Trek has come
out, and Wolverine and the Terminator have made their appearances. That's
it. There's nothing left to look forward to.
Okay, except maybe Harry Potter. But that's it. Harry Potter and Transformers. That's all, though. Just those two. Harry Potter, Transformers, and Tarantino's Inglorious
Basterds. Read More... |  |
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Erich “Mancow” Muller By Editorial Staff
The argument
about whether water-boarding is torture or merely an enhanced interrogation
technique has been getting a lot of play lately. Many conservatives hold fast
to the belief that it is not torture, probably because that’s what the gospel
according to former President George W. Bush says. That’s why what conservative radio host
Erich “Mancow” Muller did is ideological heresy. Read More... |  |
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Scribbles and Scraps By Sunny Weathers
Last week, I was reading
the newspaper online … because why would you pay for it when they give it to
you free and you don’t have to go out in the rain to get it?
At any rate, I came
across what could be the worst thing ever: a picture drawn by a court sketch
artist. Maybe it’s not a bad job, but seriously, it’s 2009 and you make your
living with colored pencils? Read More... |  |
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